Now Joash are you going to take the advice given here or you know already what you really want? – I will say, just follow your heart thus: With whom do you feel happy and relaxed to be with for long without getting bored and tell almost anything; who feels relaxed with you and want to spent long time with you and can tell you anything?. Whom do you miss a lot when they are away from you?- who is more in your thoughts? - Not only lust of course; whom do you think you can put up with their behaviour and foresee both of you aging together, still in love or at least like each other a lot? etc etc. If you say, you feel the same with both the ladies, then that is a small lie you are telling or else you are yet to meet your compatibility - otherwise you need not ask for anybody's opinion, because if you meet the one, just fits in!. I am saying this, because I have heard of men, who, when one lady asked them, after dating for years, when they will get married, they will give her long stories of – ''probably in 4 years' time, after doing abcd'' – but it could be even the following day after, if they meet the one, they make up their mind on settling for her as their future wife – and they can take a very short time to make sure that they have settled as husband and wife!. I know of one, who had two women he was dating (shaky), and they were from his tribe, they were trained professionals and were working and one wanted marriage; he informed her that, probably after 3 years, when he has bought a house, he had enough money etc. At, the same time, the college where he worked was another lady, who was sitting for her final exams; he had been eying her all the time and had even done movies and stuff with her, she knew where he lived and she spent most of the weekends with him. Immediately she finalised her last paper, the man went and collected her and later informed the parents. Later they arranged for visits etc and later arranged and married. You will find that, this college lady, had two children; the other two ladies he was dating for long, before meeting the college lady – non had given birth to any child!..Thus he could not resist the college lady, regardless of her status as a mother already. So, in this regard, also you, know what you really want. Well, we, but, to be precise, mostly some men*, may tell you to choose X- because X is beautiful (folly of men) since she is not calling, she is giving you a lot of space. .....and she is not spying on you. Well what will happen if she is hands-off the same way even in marriage? will it bother you?..if not, well you know your answer already!. We* (some), may say, oh, not Y because she is always calling to find out what you have eaten, what you are wearing and what not! Therefore she is spying on you and will never give you space, but we might be very wrong in our advises to you, because we actually do not know what is inside their hearts. We do not know their inner beauty –we do not know who loves you most or whom you love most (that is very important) or like; whichever, we do not know who is more beautiful (beauty is in the eye of the beholder! –he he), it is only you probably who has an idea and some answers!. Y- might not be that monster of a woman someone wants to tell you about because, probably now, you may be the one and only man she is dating with the sole purpose of marrying (folly of women), because she has made up her mind already. Now, since you are the only man she wants already, being sexual herself, it is you, the man, always on her mind. She will get that urge to call, just to hear you and know that you are ok (qualities of a heart that is capable of caring and loving deeply and sincerely) and it is not evil manners at all. Still again, X could be loving but more reserved on such matters, or simply just keeping off at the moment because she knows that some men get jittery when a woman gets very interested! (folly of men), but then again, you never can tell, unless you ask her why she doesn't bother to call and find out how you are feeling etc etc if that is what you prefer – she will definitely give you an answer as to why...and if you are satisfied and convinced with the answer, is up to you to decide. I guess many people including both men and women, when they are really into someone; they get that urge to communicate with them quite often – which is very normal. When the other person you get the urge to communicate with receives your messages or calls with delight and longs for them any time – now you are in sync and probably you are balanced in your relationship – a plus!, when on the other hand the one being called has set times for calls or does not receive them kindly and compartmentalises you, thus sets a lot of boundaries for you – then there is a problem. In such a case, there is no solid relationship!. Therefore, Y may not be spying on you as was written earlier. If that is the case, then even X could do the same and can be done through relative's agencies etc, stealthily, without you knowing about it!. So, the reason Y, might be calling you often is simply that, probably, she is so much into you, appreciates you as her BF, wants you, needs you and very sincere with her feelings. And she is coming with the naivety that men want to be served all the time and that it is the duty of a woman to do so (she is still very young – remember). Probably because she has heard that advice from some people......and all these foolish errors are coming because probably, you seem to be out of reach for longer periods sometimes and yet, you are the one and only one man in her (Y's) heart because she decided so; which may be true! – or how do you contact both ladies? - do you call one, after chatting disconnect and call the other, the same day or day after?..how long does one have to wait for you to contact them?, because probably you were busy with the other!.. How do you plan and handle your outings for both of them? Or you spent more time with the beautiful one regardless of how you feel with her?(most men's weakness). Do both the ladies visit you at your residence? or only Y does but not X? .. Such stuff has quite some effect. You will be surprised Joash, that Y could be the ideal woman for you!...if you are not very fussy about too much space you need!...blah blah, after all if you don't want her to ''mother'' you, can explain to her and she will put a stop on that one; if you like it, then sawa for you. Forget about advice from some men who are born as hot cheats and always want as much wider space as possible, and they therefore think a woman who wants to communicate quite often and come closer, wants to connect with them, will interfere with their plans, quest for pleasure from as many women as they can and therefore label her needy! – They lie because they are only hostile hoping to scare her off, because they want space, a lot of it, to do their thing! and they are simply incapable of loving anyone. Remember, a little space is ok, too much space, your BF or GF will want to understand the reason behind that. It happens too with women, if they have more than one man, they demand for space!!...and also call men who want to be closer – needy or clingy. Or may be because they are not that into them; someone we really like, we want to hear from them quite often and it does not matter what time, unless, that someone is not the only one in our lives and therefore, want space for others. Simples! So, where you are being advised that Y might put a tag on you so that you will not leave the house without explanation or you will not smile to another woman; that could just be fear of the unknown. It all boils down to love and trust. Once you have build the foundation for love and trust, your woman will not suspect you and spy on you in anyway unless there is a strong valid reason to do so, e.g., like it is the case with you at the moment!. You might think that they do not know that you are dating the two of them – but the sad and unfortunate thing is that, they could be quite aware of it!..or just each has an idea that, there is something dividing your attention and that it is not your work nor is it your relatives. However, what I have given could be 95 % truth, 5 % might be on the contrary! At the end of the day, Joash, you are the wearer of the shoes – go ahead and wear the one that you know and feel that it fits you well and hence does not pinch you much!. Sasa wewe mwenyewe, kajipange babu eeh?. Disclaimer: I have not called your girlfriends and consider them as shoes in any way, but, shoes, here were used metaphorically!. Blessings and have a wise decision, because none of us will decide for you. Pam
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