Sunday, September 5, 2010

Re: JUST FOR LAUGHS

Kuria,

Aaiiiiiiia! are you computerized? What do you do for a living? It is
amazing how much you can think and write. Continue.

> Why should I get the baking chance yet I am from Murang'a County?
>
> Unlike Muita, I spent very little time in Murang'a and left the county
> when
> men did their job in the bedroom
> as if they were being paid. Muita left when the bedroom crises reached
> peak.
> Go figure.
>
> Unlike Muita, I am not a permanent resident of Muranga and dont have
> murang'a roots. I am mixed, actually .4 since my mother
> is from Kiambu, her mother had Maasai roots, my fathers father has embu
> roots and my granny (paternal) has Kamba roots. Muita has full Murang'a
> roots and is pure blooded Murang'an. So if there is any credit Josephine
> wants to give to Murang'a on baking, let it go to Muita not me (I am not
> selfish as you can see and I believe in second chances but Muita got ten
> chances and failed.
>
> We need to ask ourselves why Muita has let the oven remain hot before we
> dismiss his baking skills. Is he afraid of cooking half baked cake or is
> he
> scared of PB (Premature Baking?). Since we need milk for the baking, is he
> afraid of spilling it before it gets into the oven or what? Is he aware
> that
> Josephine has waited for too long and the milk may have gone sour? Who
> told
> Muita that Josephine wants to eat a cake with sour milk? Who told Muita
> that
> she likes maziwa mala?
>
> Josephine needs a cake from the man of God because he has fresh milk for
> the
> cake and he is ready to out the cake into the oven right now. Muita's cake
> seems to have refused to rise but the man of God's cake rose before it
> even
> got near the oven. Josephine needed to say she will supervise the baking
> and
> the man of God's cake rose to the occasion. I will not let her down and
> the
> cake shall remain risen until Kingdom come or until she is ready to eat it
> and keep it. The cake shall remain hard to avoid breaking during the
> eating
> session. It will be well cooked, all sides of the cake will be cooked in
> the
> oven because the man of God will keep on changing where it stays in the
> oven
> and making sure that no part of the oven shall remain untouched however
> hot
> the oven shall be. Occasionally the cake will be removed from the oven
> inorder to add ingredients and Josephine will be allowed to taste the cake
> in order to find out whether it is well cooked. It will then be inserted
> back into the oven and will be placed into the furthest part of the oven.
> No
> stone in the oven shall be left unturned.
>
> Josephine need to accept this cake because it will a Kamba cake once it is
> cooked. The theme of the baking will be Kamba and it shall be titled,
> "Cake
> Baked in the Kamba Oven". So as we bake, the caterer and the cateress
> shall
> be doing Kilumi jigs. This cake shall be so good that it's goodness shall
> spread from Chyulu Hills to Mtito Adei and will stop until Josephine and
> the
> Man of God get to Mbooni. When we are done with the cooking, Josephine
> will
> be asked where she was with the man of God and she shall reply, "Mbooni".
>
> Muita should be dismissed because he handled this baking worse than how
> Chirau Makwere handled the transportation docket. Muita should know that
> John Michuki has taken over his ministry. His was worse than the collapsed
> Nyayo Car Motors. Dead on conception! He is the old katiba, I am the new
> one
> and Josephine has promulagted the man of God. Muita should return to
> Mathioya and cry by the Rivers of Murang'a. I will sailing on Athi River
> headed to Mbooni where I will meet Josephine for several baking sessions.
>
> Muita is an expert in computers and should have known how to handle the
> baking using the computer world. He behaved like he is running a Pentium
> 0.1
> with some 10 Mb processor. The man of God has 5 Ghz of provessor, and
> unlike
> Muita whose space is some 100 MB, the Askofu cake's space is beyond
> Gigabytes and talking to Terabytes, some 3 Terabytes compared may be
> Muita's
> few megabytes (too little to talk of Gigs).
>
> Was Muita afraid of a case where the computer will take too long to open
> and
> it would keep on freezing? I have good news for Josephine, this computer
> opens with lightening speed and she will surf the internet for as long as
> she wants, no freezing, no refusal to boot and no rebooting. You cant go
> wrong with the Terabyte and some 5 Ghz of speed. It will be like running
> with a cheetah as opposed to running with a tortoise called Muita. Mbooni
> here we come.
>
> Kuria
>
>
> On Fri, Sep 3, 2010 at 9:08 AM, Kuria-Mwangi <kjmwangi@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Gathoni,
>> Muita's anme should not be mentioned or written again on this baking
>> topic.
>> He is fired and
>> in his the man of God has taken over. I had advocated for him to do the
>> baking with
>> Josephine, our chief catereress because he comes from my county but he
>> has
>> let me down.
>> By now all we wanted to hear from the cateress was that the baking was
>> progressing on well
>> and she is happy with the baking. Now she is frustrated because the
>> baker
>> is missing
>> in action. But what did we expect from a Murang'a man? Many of them have
>> let us down due to
>> kumi kumi where women have claimed that they sleep on the job (for those
>> who start jobbing but sleep half way and some
>> times at the gate).
>>
>> As a fellow county man, I supported Muita and appointed him the Czar of
>> the
>> kitchen but see what he has done
>> to the queen of the kitchen. She warmed the oven and put it to 500
>> degrees
>> but there is no cake to cook. What a shame.
>>
>> I have bad news for the Czar Muita:
>> Rasputin has arrived move out Czar Muita:
>>
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmjdZKfumEI
>>
>> Askofu like the other Rasputin is a man of the cloth but also a love
>> machine. The Russian King (Read Muita) atakula huu because Rasputin has
>> taken the Russian queen.
>>
>> Muita will be invited to watch Rasputin do the baking so that he can
>> know
>> how it ought be done as his former queen sings Daddy Cool in the
>> kitchen-
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5gNYVia2rg&feature=related
>>
>> Muita will be given by Josephine one way ticket-
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DYA1raD-YY&feature=related
>> He cannot return back to that kitchen. On the door to the kitchen there
>> shall be a notice in bold letters:
>>
>> Muita asiingie jikoni:
>>
>> Muita will then head to Iran where he will be crying by the Rivers of
>> Babylon when he remembers Josephine.
>>
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nm1g8FFRArc&feature=related
>>
>> As Muita cries by the Rivers of Babylon, I will be singing to Josephine,
>> Bahama Mama
>>
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWSaXJoUiVM&feature=related
>>
>> As Rasputin and the Russian queen (read Josephine) bakes, I will be
>> singing
>> Fadhili Williams Malaika to Josephine, my Malaika:
>>
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvGxuuaIJGM&feature=related
>>
>> Josephine will be jumping up and down (her legs) as Rasputin does his
>> baking as she sings Hooray Hooray because it will be a holiday
>> for us as we promulgate the new union.
>>
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJkrA6DtDgQ&feature=related
>>
>> Josephine will be the brown girl in the ring:
>>
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1So7q6IfJ4&feature=related
>>
>> Josephine facing and going to Mt. Kenya (West)
>>
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1So7q6IfJ4&feature=related as the
>> painter
>> man does his work
>>
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgevV4tpXVE&feature=related
>>
>> And she will tell the Painter Man after the cake is ready and eaten, "i
>> better go home"
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EjLWh2150I&feature=related
>>
>> But she will go home after " Night flight to Venus"
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzSmBBDr0_Y&feature=fvw
>>
>> And both of us will be children of paradise during the baking
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uWn-v8iVO8&feature=related
>>
>> And during the baking sesssion, I will one time tell her "Hold on I am
>> coming!"
>>
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DM1OZsFZW94&feature=related
>>
>> And she will be so excited that she will shout, "help help help"
>>
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkxcQfgnzpo&feature=related
>>
>> And she will be baptized by Askofu and she will say, "I am born again"
>>
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvQuSsaKlUM&feature=related
>>
>> And Muita will be sailing away and she will say "I see a boat in the
>> river"
>>
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oac4W2VUSZM&feature=related
>>
>> And Muita will be singing "No woman no cry"
>>
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAGaftRzScE&feature=related
>>
>> And that is the story of Ma Baker aka Cateress aka Josephine:
>>
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0k9m2XMvFlw&feature=related
>>
>> Rasputin.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> On Thu, Sep 2, 2010 at 3:57 PM, Jac <jack.gathoni@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>> Ja`kamburi, Kuria, Muita, Josphine and Papa am witing for just for
>>> laughs season 2.
>>>
>>> It better be more interesting!
>>>
>>> On 9/2/10, jnzioka@ppoa.go.ke <jnzioka@ppoa.go.ke> wrote:
>>> >
>>> > Kaburini,
>>> >
>>> > Kuria is the leader of spoilers. Ask him which cake he baked.
>>> >
>>> > Josephine
>>> >
>>> >>
>>> >> People,
>>> >> Kuria,Muita,Josephini and |Nzioka,
>>> >>
>>> >> Mbona mnaharibu ladha ya hii cake yangu jameni?
>>> >>
>>> >> Kujeni mkule cake sasa
>>> >>
>>> >> Ja'kamburi
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>> Date: Thu, 2 Sep 2010 09:55:02 +0300
>>> >>> Subject: Re: JUST FOR LAUGHS
>>> >>> From: jnzioka@ppoa.go.ke
>>> >>> To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
>>> >>>
>>> >>>
>>> >>> Kuria,
>>> >>>
>>> >>> You were pretending to be better than Muita? "Birds of a feather"
>>> You
>>> >>> cannot be Muita's spokesman coz you are almost beating him in that
>>> >>> field.
>>> >>> Keep on baptizing the "cake-baking"
>>> >>>
>>> >>> Josephine
>>> >>>
>>> >>>
>>> >>>
>>> >>> > Muita,
>>> >>> > I dont know why you are not insisting on preparing muthokoi
>>> instead
>>> of
>>> >>> > baking cake. I promise you that
>>> >>> > you will accept the apology after making that muthokoi. Cake
>>> baking
>>> is
>>> >>> > like
>>> >>> > going for a snack instead of
>>> >>> > taking a meal, a complex one instead of a light meal in the form
>>> of
>>> a
>>> >>> > cake.
>>> >>> >
>>> >>> > Doing a muthokoi is as easy as cooking ugali but far much better
>>> >>> > especially
>>> >>> > if you have a big pestle. Now this all you will need. A ndiri
>>> (mortar)
>>> >>> > since
>>> >>> > you have the pestle (muinduri). I know you have not seen a mortar
>>> from
>>> >>> > Ukambani but that is no different from the ndiri back home for
>>> >>> preparing
>>> >>> > njenga or that other stuff looking like unga made through
>>> numerous
>>> >>> > hammering.
>>> >>> >
>>> >>> > One she brings the mortar, make sure that it sits well to avoid
>>> >>> destroying
>>> >>> > it or tilting after repeatedly hammering it with your pestle. The
>>> more
>>> >>> you
>>> >>> > hammer the mortar, the better the muthokoi get prepared. Make
>>> sure
>>> you
>>> >>> > dont
>>> >>> > just hit one place otherwise the muthokoi will not be done
>>> evenly.
>>> Hit
>>> >>> at
>>> >>> > the top, sides and in the middle, first slowly and then
>>> vigorously
>>> >>> until
>>> >>> > the
>>> >>> > muthokoi is well done and you can smash it no more. You know you
>>> are
>>> >>> done
>>> >>> > when there is no response from the mortar or it collapses. Use
>>> your
>>> >>> finger
>>> >>> > or fingers or hands to koroga the muthokoi, slowly and evenly,
>>> >>> stroking it
>>> >>> > in a gentleman manner and then keep on tasting the muthokoi to
>>> make
>>> >>> sure
>>> >>> > that it is getting well done.
>>> >>> >
>>> >>> > On Tue, Aug 31, 2010 at 2:45 PM, Muita Wangoko
>>> >>> > <muitawangoko@gmail.com>wrote:
>>> >>> >
>>> >>> >> On Tue, Aug 31, 2010 at 7:51 AM, <jnzioka@ppoa.go.ke> wrote:
>>> >>> >>>
>>> >>> >>>> Muita, aaaiiiiiiaaa, I thought Mwangi was your spokesperson
>>> and I
>>> >>> was
>>> >>> >>>> happy that I was forgiven. Ok can you now forgive me then? If
>>> you
>>> >>> dont
>>> >>> >>>> bake cakes unless you are assisted, then I dont think you know
>>> how
>>> >>> to
>>> >>> >>>> do
>>> >>> >>>> it. A good chef does it alone. There is a programme called
>>> "Top
>>> >>> Chef"
>>> >>> >>>> and
>>> >>> >>>> everyone does his/her thing and he/she is given a present and
>>> those
>>> >>> >>>> who
>>> >>> >>>> fail are told to pack their knives and go home. Are you a chef
>>> or
>>> >>> an
>>> >>> >>>> assistant chef? Im waiting to be forgiven if that pleases
>>> Wangoko.
>>> >>> >>>>
>>> >>> >>>> Josephine
>>> >>> >>>>
>>> >>> >>>
>>> >>> >> @Josephine,
>>> >>> >>
>>> >>> >> I like your name. It sounds good though I almost bit my upper
>>> lip
>>> >>> when
>>> >>> >> I
>>> >>> >> tried pronouncing the name but with a grin. Kuria Mwangi is one
>>> of
>>> >>> the
>>> >>> >> most
>>> >>> >> unreliable beings on earth and so can never be appointed to be
>>> my
>>> >>> >> spokesperson.
>>> >>> >>
>>> >>> >> Ich bin einen Profi Bäcker, the germans will tell you, that is
>>> to
>>> say
>>> >>> I
>>> >>> >> am
>>> >>> >> one of the best cake bakers currently exisiting in the right
>>> planet.
>>> >>> I
>>> >>> >> do
>>> >>> >> bake at your own choice or selection at your own space and time
>>> and
>>> >>> at
>>> >>> >> the
>>> >>> >> right temperature. I always do ensure that the ingredients are
>>> well
>>> >>> >> nourishing to both mind and body in that it will make you keep
>>> on
>>> >>> coming
>>> >>> >> for
>>> >>> >> more. However, in some cases like yours, we'll have to do it
>>> >>> together.
>>> >>> >> I
>>> >>> >> normally suggest so since then can we both mutually gain, how?
>>> come
>>> >>> thee
>>> >>> >> to
>>> >>> >> me and you shall not regret.
>>> >>> >>
>>> >>> >> Forgiveness never comes that easy from Muita son of Wangoko.
>>> >>> >>
>>> >>> >>
>>> >>> >>
>>> >>> >>
>>> +-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
>>> >>> >> Best Regards,
>>> >>> >> ./Muita Wangoko
>>> >>> >>
>>> >>> >> "If the outside is so good, why is it taking too long to
>>> perfect
>>> the
>>> >>> >> inside?"
>>> >>> >>
>>> >>> >>
>>> >>> >>
>>> +-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
>>> >>> >>
>>> >>> >> --
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>>> >>> >>
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>>> >>> >
>>> >>> >
>>> >>> >
>>> >>> > --
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>>
>>
>>
>> --
>> http://www.kuria-mwangi.blogspot.com
>> http://www.facebook.com/kjmwangi
>>
>>
>
>
> --
> http://www.kuria-mwangi.blogspot.com
> http://www.facebook.com/kjmwangi
>
> --
> JOB VACANCIES: http://www.myafricancareer.net
>
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