From: Kuria-Mwangi <kjmwangi@gmail.com>
To: Mlalahoi <mlalahoi@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Sun, July 18, 2010 11:53:03 PM
Subject: Re: MY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE..........!
Roz,
Gachoki does not have any problem so dont get worried about calling him Gichokio:)
The term is employed also in the same context in central province but woman want it applied on her. It comes out like an "insulting term" and so not widely used.
On Kegel exercises, I think women need to learn about them even as men go on enlargement spree otherwise they will be forced to go on enlarging to accommodate the new stadium (remember the joke below:)
There is a TV personality in USA, a talk show host (Not Oprah) who divorced and then went on trashing her husband, that she left him because he is too small.
The ex-hubby replied, "If a jumbo jet fell in the great canyon, it would look really small".
A Woman says to a man after sex:
"You have a very small guitar".
The Man replies: "Well, I didn't know that I was expected to perform in
a Stadium………..
Mr. Gachoki
I am very very sorry for calling the wrong name. Mr Kuria almost broke my house last night wanting to know why i called you Gichoki. Mr Kuria, am sorry for that. This is the second time i am calling people by wrong name after i called Mr. Machera, Mr Muchera simply because i confused the name with my nephew who is Mucera.
Gicokio in my language means a lady who has a child before marriage.
About Kigel Exerxcise. i dont think any woman would be interested to reduce the caliber of their vs. Remember what the bird sad. Since men have learned how to shoot without missing, i have learned how to fly without perching(Things fall apart). Now these men of ours have decided to go for enlargement pills to make up to 3 or 4 inches and up to 12 in length, yet you want women to make theirs small so that next time you will be taking her every week for tear repairs in the hospital and am sure the clergy will not accept this. You are the same people who will be very busy saying women have refused with their property. Men, lets go metric all of us,meaning these things should be directly proportional to the mans size. If you make yours 30 cm long and 7.5cm thick, i will train the women how to go directly propositional. Here you have doubled your normal size and therefore she has to double her normal size too.
On the other hand if the man decides to reduce his size, i would like to know by what proportion and then i teach the women Kigel Exwrcise. Once her size is directly proportion to her husbands i stop it.
Mr Kuria, how do you feel about this. I dont want to miss sacrament on sunday for teaching women what is not in the bible. Lakin kama iko pesa, i can go back street.
From: Kuria-Mwangi <kjmwangi@gmail.com>
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Sent: Sat, July 17, 2010 11:42:53 PM
Subject: Re: MY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE..........!
Gichoki?????:)
Rose, that is like Karimi, Kirimi. It doesnt make Karimi big but ugly:)
Now please avoid subtracting and adding these vowels in Gikuyu names. First where I come from, Gachoki is a female and the equivalent is Muchoki for three legged people but across River Tana in Kiri, Gachoki is a man. Gachoki was the most prominent butcher in sagana town and I remember all saying that they are going for mutura, mahu (intestines) and nyama gwa Gachoki.
Now the name I plead with you to avoid is Gichokio. You call a Kikuyu woman a Gichokio and she will be in arms with you. The equivalent name is a rejectee and was used to refer to women who got married temperory and returned to their mother, mostly with child(ren) after being rejected elsewhere. So when one was called Gichokio, they either cried or took a sharp panga and slashed your nose if your neck was lucky to escape the sharp panga. Gichoki is insulting enough but it only means a big one who returned while Gichokio means a huge one who was returned. It is even better to call some ones names which only Muita is able to say in public, the unprintable insults. So lets stick to Gachoki otherwise I love your teachings on these matters. You dont know many souls you are helping.
Next, please teach us on Kegel Exercises. Many women are left by husband after childbirth because they forgot the Kegel exercises and so their yam remains wide and incapable of kamataring the bokora as it supposed to. The man leaves and start looking for women with smaller yams yet Kegel exercises can make the yam as shallow and smaller as that of a 12 year old lass.
Kuria
Kuria
On Fri, Jul 16, 2010 at 5:55 PM, Rose Kagwiria <ikirimakagwiria@yahoo.com> wrote:
Gichoki and others
When she is aroused the depth and width will increase in varying degrees, Between 6 to 9 inch or slightly less depending on the woman otherwise if not aroused all the women will be 3 to 4inch with the smallest diameter being at the opening. So if the man does it when not well aroused he will cause a lot of trauma and this may make the woman not interested for several days as she is nursing the wounds. How will you know if she is aroused? She will have adequate lubrication. If she feels dry let her not cheat you. Simply she is not interested and this is when she is likely to be traumatized. I see alot of men carrying labricants for their wives. I believe these are the women who make ciondos because they are not interested but at least they are not traumatized because at least there is lubricant.
From: charles gachoki <cgachoki@yahoo.com>
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Sent: Thu, July 15, 2010 4:30:40 PM
Subject: Re: MY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE..........!
as an economist i would want to know is it possible for her to get aroused and the depth doesnt grow or is it a causal relationship?
Munene
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com; Jagem K'Onyiego <jairuschurch@yahoo.com>; Jectone forum Ndunya <jacknyaiga@yahoo.com>; DOUGLAS MOKUA <dglsmokuaster@gmail.com>
Sent: Wed, July 14, 2010 5:13:44 PM
Subject: Re: MY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE..........!
I am not a man but i will go mathematical now because you are under looking some sizes which can affect women's sexual life.
If 12inches=30 cm. how many inch is 26.6cm
26.6 divide by 30 multiply by 12= 10.64cm. This the correct size in cm
Therefore 26.6cm= 10.64inches
19.2 divide by 30 multiply by 12=7.68 inches
Therefore 19.2cm= 7.68inches
If i may say as woman, the first size of 26.6 is a little bit big even for women who can attain up to 9 inches depth at the stimulation, otherwise most of the women can manage the depth of 6cm an average and this the average depth a woman can attain if you manage to get her G.spot and she is feeling great. If you are one of those jokers in bed who are so selfish and you don't arouse your wife, she will remain at 3 to 4 inches and you can imagine what she undergoes during the act . Next time she will spend the night in the children s bedroom because of the trauma you caused to her. So guys watch out.
Rose
From: DOUGLAS MOKUA <dglsmokuaster@gmail.com>
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Sent: Wed, July 14, 2010 6:23:30 AM
Subject: Re: MY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE..........!
Jex u r not serious as in u start to knw wat u r upto before it is too late..........................................................actions man speak more than words and expressions i.e. u shud b on the watch out as in since sh is suspecting her hubby to kuhanya she wants 2 hit back on him.STOP MINGLING WITH NEIGHBOURS WIVES JEX THAT IS IT.On Tue, Jul 13, 2010 at 9:13 PM, Jagem K'Onyiego <jairuschurch@yahoo.com> wrote:Kagwiria,This Ndunya's "pipe" is not really extra big. I mean 26.6cm (centimeters), converted into inches is just about 8 and a half inches. Well That is not very far from my "Mand-drill"(A tool I use for reaming special holes) This drill has some "two battery" chargers hanging on the lower side,while the shaft is 19.2 centimeters when it is fully charged and ready to drill. Converted to inches that is over 7 inches of shaft. This tool and many others about this size, and even that of Jex can be fitted with regular rough ridersAnd, did you know that on normal cicumstances, the distance between the opening of that "10 acre Farm" called Vagina and the opening of the uterus of a woman, is just about 4 inches (10cm). So Plunging the whole mandrill in there,especially when its as long as Ndunya's is a waste of Drill. because a lot of the shaft of the drill will be left outside. In any case women prefer, men to "just" knock on the cervix. When you hammer it constantly it turns into pain and as such they end up not enjoying the sex. So you have to be a craftsman and know on which stroke to push it all the way to knock the cervix. This coupled with working the G spot, can make the women travel to the golden gates of heaven or to Obel Sibuth's birbed wire metal gates,(depending on how you preferre it), before coming back to the bed or floor or sofa or kitchen table. Wanaume remember 'knock-knock, na utapishwa. This rule is even in the Good book Ama?Have an informed Loving day.Jagem
From: Rose Kagwiria <ikirimakagwiria@yahoo.com>
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com; Chris M Kamula <ckamula@riaraschools.ac.ke>
Sent: Tue, July 13, 2010 12:58:01 PM
Subject: Re: MY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE..........!
Sorry for the mistakes but for me the message was about extraordinarily size which am sure the ordinary sizes of condoms cannot fit. So i imagine the neighbor wanted to confirm if really he has that size and if true which size of condoms he uses. If actually he showed the condoms he would have betrayed himself because if they were ordinary size then it means, his is normal size not 26.6cmSorry for the mistakes
From:
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Sent: Tue, July 13, 2010 11:35:31 AM
Subject: RE: MY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE..........!Hi Rose
where did you get the two figures of 26.8 cm plus 26.6cm and what do they represent?.
Regards,
chris m . kamula
A real decision is measured by the fact that you have taken a new action . If there is no action you havent truly decided.
From: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com [mailto:mlalahoi@googlegroups.com] On Behalf Of Rose Kagwiria
Sent: 12 July 2010 19:24
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com; youngkenyansforchange@yahoogroups.com; Jectone forum Ndunya
Subject: Re: MY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE..........!
Jactone
I hope you know even your neighbors read your emails
You betrayed yourself by saying you are 26.8cm. My dear dont ask why she asked for the type of condom you use. The condoms are usually standard size. So may be she wanted to see if you buy special size which can fit 26.6cm. This why she wanted to see the packet. May be the husband has the same size or longer than yours. Please assist your neighbor.
From: Jectone Ndunya <jacknyaiga@yahoo.com>
To: Mlalahoi <mlalahoi@googlegroups.com>
Cc: Young Professionals <youngprofessionals_ke@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Mon, July 12, 2010 4:57:52 PM
Subject: MY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE..........!
Friends and relatives,
This is a true story.........it happened to me....
Please here me out on this one. Recently after a busy day i decided to branch at one of the new sports in town at least to enjoy some contents of the place before heading. It was a good place and left little early for i had to chair some meeting of my relatives.
On reaching home, little tipsy, opened my door and quickly as usual rushed to close it. but no sooner had i reached for the padlock than i heard i knock, when i inquired, it was my neighbors wife, asking to see me. I obliged her and reopened. After the usual hi hi... i wondered why she's been lost many days not seen and she readily said she had gone home.
Quickly the woman asked...." what type of condom do you use?".... here i was seeing #$%&<<>>>?:"()__+%^~~~~~~~" and she was like , " i know its a crazy Q but just tell me" then it occurred to me we were standing in the corridor and any one would here me talk such with a neighbors wife, so i decided to welcome her in which she refused then i asked...after a long silence....... why? ..........she was like " do you use Rough Ryder, Enzoy..... studded... or the normal once?".. here again i was like +*-/*+_)(&*^%$++-* i told her .....Rough ryder....... and she went..... Can i see the packet?.... "my goodness what is this now...." when i realised she was not giving up, i said to her..." you know today is Wednesday i think they picked the dust bins so i dont have a packet left to show you, but why ask? ..... she eptied her worries to me......." you know when i went home i left a packet of Rough Ryder condoms in my room ..... i had asked my mboch to go to her cousins untill i come back... but i understand she used to come back in the house at night... now when i checked the place i could not find it.... i have asked her about it but she says she doesnt know what that looks like... thats why i wanted you to assist me with a packet so i could show it to her to enmable her understand what am talking about....." after listen i asked.... but where do you keep it and does she know where?..... she said..." i normally keep it in an open place and many times she cleans the place so am sure she must have seen it...." Then i asked her.... " Have you asked your hubby?" she was like " no and i know he would not tell me......... but am suspecting something is wrong in this house..........but soon i will find out.... anyway thanks but should you find a packet please let me know....." she told me.
I told her sorry but adviced her to nicely talk to her hubby to find out..... surprisingly next day she told me even the hubby isnt taking it seriously and did not even bother to ask the mboch.....
Am a single guy, well groomed. Why would this lady come to me asking about condom types sincerely? this are matters private and she should have sorted oput with the hubby?
What was this woman upto? was she real? could she be looking for away to have me in bed?
Am disturbed guys please advice....
Jex.....0711966688
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