Guys,
I have been out and about, not able to be in this forum for some time. This is for a couple of reasons I may not be able to discuss here since it does not mean so much to this forum.
Regarding the change of identity for our ladies to reflect the spousal name, I guess many of us may look at it from different angles. It denies the ladies their true biological identity, I do agree. But just how is she to relate to her husband as a person who belongs to him (where belonging to him means she is his lawful wife)?
The name changing is so very much in order. My wife, after we have gone through all the processes of legalizing our marriage, ought to take after my name to be able to be identified with me as my wife. This doe not necessarily mean that she has to do away with her previous names. She can keep all of them. All she needs to do is to add my surname after all her names. This gives her authority over any other issues that concerns me like if she has to fly out of the country with me as her husband.
Some foreign countries expect the last names of both paties to be the same as proof of marrital connection between the two. If , for example, you are travelling to the middle east with your wife, and your two passports reflect different surnames, then its going to be very hard for you to get a hotel where you will be booked in the same room as you are considered "friends, and not a couple. I live here and, believe you me, it happens. This is to curb the issue of illegal sex (having sex with a person not married to you).
So, as we discuss this issue of change of name, lets also consider the implication of changing/not changing. Personally, it gives more pleasure to hear people call my my wife "Mrs Nicole Dela Musuku". Can you imagine how much dignity is bestowed upon you in such a case? Do you even know how much pleasure it gives your wife to be refered to as such? It is beyond our imagination. It is so lovely and reflects the love between the two parties.
But again, just to ask, why would your wife not want to adopt your surname? Is it fear? Is it shame? Is it that she does not want to be identified as a married woman? May be you just do not reflect the perfect husband for your name to be reflected on her record and in any other public forum. If so, then there is a big problem in that marriage. This could be a marriage planted on pretence, and reflects embarrasement on her side by using your name. Be as it may, it is not just right, and in such a case, do not accept to be suspended just below the numbus clouds. It is coming to rain pretty soon and you will for sure get wet. Run. Run as fast as you can.
Steve Musuku
From: lattif shaban <lanshab@yahoo.com>
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Sent: Sat, September 4, 2010 1:42:13 PM
Subject: Re: Change of surname after Marriage in Kenya?
True. You do not need to take change your names because of marriage. Muslim are not aobligated to do it and those who did in the past was because of influence ya Ukoloni.
Lattif Shaban
From: Nancy <nankhi@yahoo.com>
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Sent: Sat, September 4, 2010 10:54:30 AM
Subject: Re: Change of surname after Marriage in Kenya?
Ojoo et al,
What you are saying is very true and I support it fully. However the process of doing this is soo demeaning to women, backward, barbaric I personally thinks its crap!
Look at this ladies, my sister wanted to change her ID to reflect her husband's name, these are guys who had a civil wedding and have a certificate to that effect, so she goes to the registrar of persons to do the same.
She is given three sets of forms, one to be taken to our dad or mum (or bring them) here to sign and have their finger prints taken!!!!!!
The next set is for her husband with the above requirements fulfilled and hers ofcourse!
Now, all these three forms are to be brought back to the officer with copies of IDs of the three people plus the original and a copy of their marriage certificate!
This was happening last month, in Nairobi, listening to this, I asked my sister who's been married for over 10yrs, if she is a criminal of some sort. Two, what has any of our parents got to do with her changing of her names (she is a consenting adult and as her I'd indicated she is almost 40!) And again isn't a marriage certificate and maybe the lady's original ID(coz after all she is the one that wants to change her name) plus copies of her and her husband's ID proof enough that we are indeed the persons indicated in the document presented!
Am not sure what the current constitution says about such matters but I will tell any woman who is married, stay married, enjoy it, use whatever name but do allow yourself to be demeaned and humiliated but government procedures that don't make sense.
After all you have a marriage certificate and if anything this process only favours those who hold legal documents indicating that they are married!
My thoughts,
Nancy
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Zain Kenya
From: ojoo@starlit.co.ke
Sender: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Date: Fri, 3 Sep 2010 13:30:39 +0000
To: <mlalahoi@googlegroups.com>
ReplyTo: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Subject: Re: Change of surname after Marriage in Kenya?
Therefore Solomon Ojoo Ragula who marries Wilbroda Achieng Odera will change their names to Solomon Ojoo and Wilbroda Ojoo.
After leaving the parents there are no more Ragula and Odera. The new home will be called Ojoo's.
Here should be no more philosophies on these like the lady saying all my past certificates have my dad's name. Employers know very clearly that people go to school before marriage.
National I/D takes very short time to be changed.
Sent from my BlackBerry Storm®
From: Lawrenzia Muthoni <lawrehr2010@gmail.com>
Sender: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Date: Fri, 3 Sep 2010 15:04:20 +0300
To: <mlalahoi@googlegroups.com>
ReplyTo: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Subject: Change of surname after Marriage in Kenya?
Dear Mlalahoi Members,
Can anyone in this forum explain how a woman should legally change her last name after marriage to assume husbands surname? This is a case of "after the weddings"
Your advise will be appreciated.
Rgds, Lawrenzia.
-- JOB VACANCIES: http://www.myafricancareer.net
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