That is not a joke. You must have missed the Memoir about a neighbor back home who was a killed by a cat. This was an old man who used to sit on that three legged stool outside his house and would sleep sometimes. Problem was that he wore only a kabuti and was known to avoid wearing anything else. One day a huge cat from a neighbor visited his homestead and he was asleep. Unfortunately his jolobo and the accompanying balls were dangling down. The huge cat passed under the kabuti and saw what he assumed was a black. The cat grabbed the jolobo and the balls and was chewing them as if they were a rat when the old man woke up in pain. The cat was trained on not letting the rat go. The old man struggled with the cat and it got worse. By the time help arrived, he was breeding and died enroute to hospital.
Lesson learned? Always wear undies or whatever can conceal the rat and dont encourage those cats to play with your pahali pa uzazi. Only women can avoid to let cats play with that area because they have little or nothing to dangle unless the cat was too retarded to confuse a dangling tit or KCC for a rat.
Now to avoid seeing people attack cats from Loco 15 and those of Garrisa, here is another case of mistaken identity:)
Calling In Sick
> Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my
> illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying.
> On one occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway because the truth was
> too humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I
> hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I could think up a
> doozy to explain the bandage on my crown.
>
> The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's wishes to adopt
> a cute little kitty. Initially the new
> acquisition was no problem, but one morning I was taking my shower after
> breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Ed!
> the garbage disposal is dead. Come reset it."
>
> You know where the button is." I protested through the shower (pitter-
> patter). "Reset it yourself!"
>
> "I am scared!" She pleaded. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?"
> (Pause) "C'mon, it'll only take a second."
>
> So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to make a statement about
> how her cowardly behavior was not without consequence.
>
> I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is
> the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, without
> respect to my circumstances. Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into
> its gnashing metal teeth.
> It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied
> between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I
> took the bait under the sink.
>
> At precisely the second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I
> unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.
>
> Now when men feel pain or even sense danger anywhere close to their
> masculine region, they lose all rational thought to control orderly bodily
> movements. Instinctively, their nerves compel the body to contort inwardly,
> while rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed. Not even a well trained
> monk could calmly stand with his groin supporting the full weight of a
> kitten and rectify the situation in a step-by-step manner.
>
> Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight"
> syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight"
> option.
>
> Fleeing straight up, I knew at that moment how a cat feels when
> it is alarmed. It was a dismal irony. But, whereas cats seek great heights
> to escape, I never made it that far. The sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my
> ascent; the impact knocked me out cold.
>
> When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Having been fully
> briefed by my wife, the paramedics snorted as they
> tried to conduct their work while suppressing their hysterical laughter.
>
> At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me.
> I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk. "What's the matter, cat
> got your tongue?"
>
> If they had only known.
>
On Thu, Sep 2, 2010 at 8:28 AM, Eric Wabwaya Mburi <ewabwaya@hotmail.com> wrote:
Kimang'Pape,
hahahahahah Kimang you better kill Shume before he chews even your ninio man-------you will wake up bila ninio one day as the rate at which domesticated animals are mauling their owners or would be owners
Ja'kamburi
> Date: Thu, 2 Sep 2010 02:44:40 -0700
> Subject: Meaow Chewed Baby in Garissa!?
> From: lasubahati@gmail.com
> To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
>
> Wana MlalaHoi,
>
> Jana i dint lala poa scared of my Paka shume,especially after
> listening to the Horrific news from Garissa, ati Paka chewed a newly
> born baby apparently the baby kufed! very sad indeed, i think we
> should be worried especially after the Man Eaters of Tsavo now we just
> might be having the mordern human chewers of Garrisa (i wish i could
> translate their taste.... meaows).
>
> This health facility should be degazetted, pia juzi i heard ati Ngombe
> strayed in maternity wing,,, Nai? what is this with new borns na
> wanyama.
>
> Human Race tuchunge, itakuwa like the animal farm, wanyama wameruka
> story ya domestication they want to tame us.
>
> I sleep with all my eyes wide shut nikimcheki Paka wangu Shume, you
> too should.
>
> Cheers,
> Kimang' Pape
>
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