Friday, September 10, 2010

Just for laughs===why women shouldn't take men shopping

WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred
to get
in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves
to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from
the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Todd,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our
store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both
of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Todd, are
listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's
carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's
restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
"Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away." This caused the employee to
leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her supervisor that,
in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and
costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from
the bedding department. Twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: Began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me
alone?" when a clerk asked if they could help him. EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: Asked the clerk where the antidepressants were while
handling guns in the hunting department.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

12. October 6: Practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of
funnels In the auto department.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. October 21: Assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE
VOICES AGAIN!" when an announcement came over the loud speaker.


And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while,
then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here."

One of the clerks passed out.


Ja'kamburi

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