Re: No better fart than my ndinakukonda's

Spare my ribs - you should write a book on farts. Why do topics on fart generate a lot of laughter - or i am the only insane one!!! If i am i do not care - laughing feels good. A woman farted in the elevator the other day and before we entered she told me not to dare because she "just cut some cheese". I had no clue what that meant but my co-workers laughed their ribs off. I later found out why she blocked us from entering the forbidden zone- have a laughing day and whatever it takes to laugh so be it Ben ------------------------------------------------------------------------ YES to the new constitution Bye Lancaster House constitution ----------------------------------------------------------------------- --- On Tue, 8/31/10, Kuria-Mwangi <kjmwangi@gmail.com> wrote: From: Kuria-Mwangi <kjmwangi@gmail.com> Subject: Re: No better fart than my ndinakukonda's To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com Cc: "youngprofessionals_ke" <youngprofessionals_ke@googlegroups.com> Received: Tuesday, August 31, 2010, 10:30 AM Muthee Muita, Are you trying to tell us that Ngugi wa Thiong'o didnt know what he was writing about when he wrote that "uthuri wa gitonga ndunanga" (the fart of a rich person does not stink?) or are dating poor German women?  I would go by what Ngugi says because the primary school had the poorest kids and the had the stinkiest fart. They made the teacher stop teaching and class was suspended as everybody scamped for safety, some jumping out of the window and a stampede on the door as everybody run out of class.   Come high school and the smell went. Not that students dont fart in high school and beyond but it does not stink. So Ngugi must be right and you are dating poor German women or Ngugi was wrong. What i dont understand is why your sweetheart had a smelly one unless you and her and the kids ate badly. I am asking question so dont take it personally. You told us that there is no stupid question, only stupid answers. PLEASE dont give stupid answers. It is better to ignore me the way you ignore Mburi than to give a stupid answer.   Second, I like watching nonsense like the ones you write. My favorite being comedy especially blacks because they write as much nonsense as you do. One fellow came to talk about farting and said you can tell if one is gay or straight by the way they fart. Gay folks including women who allow men to do a by-pass will make a sound of fart which sounds like air is being opened like in a baloon-boom! It goes very fast making blurrrrrrr sound. Straight folks fart as if they have a cork or silencer installed in their you know what and makes a long and silent fart-something like sweeeeee. Slow motion and long as opposed to gay quick, loud and disorganized fart.   Third, did you know that loud farts are harmless? It is those silent farts which can be categorized under biological weapons of mass destruction. Also remember the Gikuyu saying "ndore inenehagio ni giti" (the chair makes the fart sound lounder) so it is better for one to fart while walking than when she is seated down. It is also better to fart in the open air and get away with it than to do it in  enclosed place like under the bed. A friend dated a lady from Ngurubani, Mwea and while they were under the blanket she sent one pishori rice fart which made him get out and then out of the bed and out of her life. It was smelly enough to make him get stomachache. Whatever they eat at Ngurubani.   Since I get inspired to write memoirs after reading upuzi, we will continue our series on Nguok, the immigrant dog from Karachuonyo which was infamous for licking children butts and village women were happy with it's clearing and forwarding. That is why most children had superflesh and superclean butts, thanks to Nguok. Unfortunately Nguok was known for farting. We will hear about Nguok farting in church (yes, kwa kanisa because nobody had the right to stop it from going to church and farting just when prayers started and that would be cut short, thanks to Nguok), Nguok farting in a restaurant and the stampede following the fart. Only Mzee Wamitwe had worse fart but his was also not that good because he only took shower in december to celebrate the birth of our savior and lord Jesus Christ. That one shower made the difference between his fart and that of Nguok. I will write memoirs about them both and mention their real names because they are both dead. the dead tells no tales.   Now continue with the fart and ignore those who are suggesting that professionals dont fart. Do your farting ndugu, professionals do fart. A fart is  fart whether it is from a professional or from Nguok, our beloved dog. On Mon, Aug 30, 2010 at 3:09 PM, Muita Wangoko <muitawangoko@gmail.com> wrote: @Good people, I have been led to understand that white women skirt-wearers for that matter have the worst and toxic fart ever.  Take for instance, there is this lucky one that found it worthy to show around yours truly at a local volkfest.  She told me that it was a higher calling for her to do the particular service and was indeed a great honour and therefore humbled.  But one thing that pertubed me all along is the spoilt air that seemed never to wade off from my environs.  It took alot of geniousity in me to discover that she was the source.  She is not the first one though.  The substance itself is indescribable to the extent which would take scientists ages to discover the exact composition. This led me to reminsce the good moments when my ndinakukonda used to release a well deserved fart that would relax my mind and soul that I would see things at an even more clearer angle.  She new it used to serve me well.  She never failed to deliver it moreso at dire times like when I was try to think through some code - all she needed to do is get nearer and release it in a manner that would earn her a Guinness world record for the perfection in which she would do it.  It is unfortunate though to her that sometimes I would force her to release a good one even when she was not prepared, but she would end up doing it somehow since - it was my word and order. It can therefore be concluded that, it is the foremost thing I miss her for. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+  Best Regards,  ./Muita Wangoko  "If the outside is so good, why is it taking too long to perfect the inside?"  +-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+ -- JOB VACANCIES: http://www.myafricancareer.net   TECHMTAA BLOG: http://www.techmtaa.com/   To unsubscribe from this group, Email mlalahoi+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com   TO ADVERTISE HERE PLEASE M-PESA KSH 1,000 for each advert or Ksh 5,000 for monthly subscription to +254 726 034 530   TRAINING VIDEOS; CISM /TOEFL/ GMAT / GRE/ SAT / IELTS / CISSP / MCTS / CISA / CCNA / CCNP / MCSE / MCITP / PHP / PHOTOSHOP / DREAMWEAVER / WEB DESIGN and others, CALL 0726 034 530 -- http://www.kuria-mwangi.blogspot.com http://www.facebook.com/kjmwangi -- JOB VACANCIES: http://www.myafricancareer.net   TECHMTAA BLOG: http://www.techmtaa.com/   To unsubscribe from this group, Email mlalahoi+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com   TO ADVERTISE HERE PLEASE M-PESA KSH 1,000 for each advert or Ksh 5,000 for monthly subscription to +254 726 034 530   TRAINING VIDEOS; CISM /TOEFL/ GMAT / GRE/ SAT / IELTS / CISSP / MCTS / CISA / CCNA / CCNP / MCSE / MCITP / PHP / PHOTOSHOP / DREAMWEAVER / WEB DESIGN and others, CALL 0726 034 530

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