The African dictates a woman is there to be seen and not be heard.
The man is always right.
Where a problem arises in marriage, the woman is the cause,
A woman was a breeding ground.
A man was to beat his wife and she was expected to say thanks
Who wants such traditions honestly
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Zain Kenya
From: edla muga <lawyeredla@yahoo.com>
Sender: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2010 21:56:34 -0700 (PDT)
To: <mlalahoi@googlegroups.com>
ReplyTo: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Subject: Re: Successful kamba ladies maintaining marriages more thancounterparts in Luo & kikuyu !
Jagem , I know your ego has been hurt because a strong woman does not agree with you. However, I am more mature than you are attempting to paint and this email is getting very personal, talking about me, me and me in the first and secone person. Let us stick to the issues. You dont know me, or my character so you cannot attempt to bring it up in an email on a googlegroup....
You are mixing up alot of issues in this email and I cannot for the life of me figure out which part is the culture or tradiitons and which part is your wish list for a good woman, whom you are dying to call a Kamba, and until you tell me what part of your emails constitute true african culture, I cannot even respond to some of your queries or figure out how you reached the conclusion that I have discared my traditions, or which ones I have aped........how someone who has never even spent one minute with another outside of emails can come to these conclusions is way beyond me....
Kindly also let me know the reference for the study that you did which led you to the conclusion that certain ladies of the elk you describe all love you for life and never want to divorce you ......
Finally, I dont care if the woman of your dreams is kamba or what, it is the kind of behaviour you are describibing and purporting to admire that I have a problem with.
From: Jagem K'Onyiego <jairuschurch@yahoo.com>
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Sent: Tue, August 17, 2010 10:54:07 PM
Subject: Re: Successful kamba ladies maintaining marriages more thancounterparts in Luo & kikuyu !
Edla
I hope your sickness may not be construed to be emanating from fear, that some women and in particular, Kamba women, hawa ruki ruki na kupatia bwana unnecessary pressure. Once they love, they will love to death. Na hawatingisiki kwa mapenzi. I mean they are not the "pesa nane" type when it comes to holding marriage vows. Could it be that this is what is making you sick? Or is it that you have long discarded your traditions and aped other people's traditions. Where did the true African Values go? Sooner or later you will be telling us that it is alright to marry today and divorce after a week. Marry again and Divorce after two months, simply because you heard rumors that, your hubby was seen talking to another woman in the market place, or worse still because he was with the Boys at the watering joint and took one for the road and many for the Bar, where he ended up coming home at 11:00pm in a jolly mood.
We must not forget our traditions and Values lest others take them. We will end up being enslaved into these other people's traditions. Just my two cents.
Jagem
From: Millicent Odhiambo <modhiambos@yahoo.com>
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Sent: Tue, August 17, 2010 12:28:48 PM
Subject: Re: Successful kamba ladies maintaining marriages more thancounterparts in Luo & kikuyu !
Edla i agree with you on this my dear.
From: Kuria-Mwangi <kjmwangi@gmail.com>
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Sent: Mon, August 16, 2010 5:24:32 PM
Subject: Re: Successful kamba ladies maintaining marriages more thancounterparts in Luo & kikuyu !
No, he showing the level of tolerance by a person. The behavior should not be condoned.
On Mon, Aug 16, 2010 at 7:39 AM, edla muga <lawyeredla@yahoo.com> wrote:
--Are you all saying that a woman should allow a man to do whatever he wants including engaging in risky behaviour, likehaving multiple sexual partners with no protection *hence the 7 children* and hang around living on water and ugali because of the expenses of the mans selfish need to have many women in his bed, and THEN and ONLY THEN can she be a good woman, then you go ahead and put a tribal cloak over her and pick the Kamba tribe.....If I was a kamba man or woman on this forum, I would be sick to my gut of this tribalistic labelling, and since I am a woman, I find the core of this thread offensive. I hope any young unmarried ladies out there have enough self confidence to know that you do not become a good wife by accepting alot of bad behaviour and doing nothing about it.I have a nagging feeling that the women who stayed behind, be she a kamba or not had no alternative, perhaps she was an orphan with no family or was unable to maintain herself financially.
From: Jagem K'Onyiego <jairuschurch@yahoo.com>
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Sent: Sun, August 15, 2010 10:24:43 PM
Subject: Re: Successful kamba ladies maintaining marriages more thancounterparts in Luo & kikuyu !
Kuria, Crispine and Nyongesa,Waambiye "Wakuye ni wabalukie." 'Gentlemens' you could be having some point here. My cousin married some decades ago in Athi River. The Lady was from 'Masakusi'. The year was 1974. Since my cousin was born and brought up in a polygamous marriage he himself ended up being polygamous.He married three women, the first though, was this Kamba woman. Later the man ended up moving to Mombasa town, but subsequently had a two year stint when times were lean, when he could not hold a permanent job. During this period the other two wives took off leaving four children behind.These children were taken in by the Kamba woman and cared for as her own children. The man later on got his footing and became successful. The children, seven of them have all gone through school and are now working.At no time did I ever see this Kamba woman go away. She has turned to be one of the best role models of a 'Wife" in the Village.All the same, this could be a One off, situation, but Nyar Machakos has done a lot of Good in the Village.Jagem
From: "modhiambos@yahoo.com" <modhiambos@yahoo.com>
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Cc: youngprofessionals.ke@gmail.com
Sent: Sun, August 15, 2010 12:43:00 AM
Subject: Re: Successful kamba ladies maintaining marriages more thancounterparts in Luo & kikuyu !
Nyongesa,
What do you mean wait for her husband to model her?
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Zain Kenya
-----Original Message-----
From: JOSEPH NYONGESA <josefnyongesa@gmail.com>
Sender: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Date: Sat, 14 Aug 2010 12:59:19
To: <mlalahoi@googlegroups.com>
Reply-To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Cc: <youngprofessionals.ke@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: Successful kamba ladies maintaining marriages more than
counterparts in Luo & kikuyu !
True and keen observation on Rope(Kamba)ladies. Only you have to be
keen she might keep on exploiting her AREA OF AGRICULTURE; especially
if you work away from where she is. (NOT ALL). Then my friend told me
that if you marry a ladies from Central then you are inviting a method
known as 'DIVIDE BY TWO/TUGAWANYE MALI' in life. Then a Luo lady will
ever expect to remain the way you got her i.e. she will wait for husy
to model her in all manner.
On Fri, Aug 13, 2010 at 12:28 PM, Kuria-Mwangi <kjmwangi@gmail.com> wrote:
> Chrispine,
> Also check with Meru women too. I have dated across the communities but it
> was only the Kamba lady who indicated that she didnt mind if I got another
> woman in her life and thought that was strange. She was actually my second
> since she was concurrently married with Junior's mother and that didnt seem
> to worry. Only the distance which caused the havoc but she is one person i
> regret today for losing.
>
> Have not seen any women from any region who are desparate for marriage like
> Meru women. For that, they make it last and that is another reason why I go
> in Meruland any time for a bride. Taita also ranks high among places where
> you may be sure of death doing you apart.
>
> Now those living abroad is another thing and I am not sure the statistics
> are the same but I can report here today that most of Kikuyu and Luo male
> friends who were stupid to marry too early are either single or doing their
> second or third marriage. What I cant tell for sure is whether the problem
> is with men or women or both. It is here that I have seen folks who are over
> 50 and ought to be settled single..Too many of them and that is why I will
> repeat again that Kenyans living abroad probably have a higher divorce rate
> than Americans themselves.
>
> I agree with you except on the conclusion of who is to get blamed, the lion
> or lioness.
>
> On Fri, Aug 13, 2010 at 12:02 PM, onyango chrispine <odumac2000@yahoo.com>
> wrote:
>>
>> Guys,
>> show me one successful Kamba lady who has broken a marriage and i might
>> just show you 100 either Kikuyu or Luo of similar status.
>> This is a terrific observation that cannot go unnoticed . Kudos Kamba
>> ladies !
>> Chrispine .
>>
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