| Pamela Butalanyi, Edla & Co, What if we were praising the women(including you) from your community, would it remain the same? would you issue or write the same sentiments?
We are praising what some or many of us Men have tasted and proven ie experienced, and on this one ask me, what i find sweet in Kamba Chicks and i will explain with ocean waters not Biro pens because the Ink in Biro pens will not be enough to explain it all.
KUDOS KAMBA CHICKS FOR THE KOMPE YOU GIVING THE WOMEN IN THE HOUSE, THEY EITHER COPY YOU OR BE PASSED BY AS THEY SING THIS SONG..."DO NOT PASS ME BY" Ohhh Jex, Ohhh Peter, Ohhh Maurice, Ohhh Harry, Ohhh Mheshimiwa, ohhh Nyongesa i am herein please hear me out......"
Jex....
--- On Thu, 8/19/10, pamela butalanyi <butalanyipk@yahoo.com> wrote:
From: pamela butalanyi <butalanyipk@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Successful kamba ladies maintaining marriages more thancounterparts in Luo & kikuyu !
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Date: Thursday, August 19, 2010, 12:05 AM
Thank you Edla and I will add that it also means, they are marrying for wrong reasons here. When we selfishly marry for wrong reasons, we are careful in our choices, looking for a particular type to exploit!... Many women whose husbands did not engage in some destructive behaviour in the course of their marriages, hence, building a strong foundation for love and trust, persevere turbulent times, the husband or the both of them go through. They work through together until they overcome and gain momentum again as a couple. In such a scenario, it is understandable, praiseworthy and acceptable, but when a man deliberately misbehaves and expects to exploit the tolerance of his wife, it is unacceptable and condemnable....
From: edla muga <lawyeredla@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Successful kamba ladies maintaining marriages more thancounterparts in Luo & kikuyu !
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Date: Wednesday, August 18, 2010, 10:11 PM
I fully agree with what Pamela is saying. I guess we must be careful what we post because some of us do not read it as Crispine is explaining it. Pamela is not out of order becuase she has percieved something beyond what is written.
From: onyango chrispine <odumac2000@yahoo.com>
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Sent: Wed, August 18, 2010 2:23:21 PM
Subject: Re: Successful kamba ladies maintaining marriages more thancounterparts in Luo & kikuyu ! you have a point but your argument is out of order. The thread is talking about "successful" Kamba ladies in marriage compared to "successful" Luo and Kikuyu ladies. Who between these two categories of kenyan women stick more to their marriages particularly after getting alot richer than before? And especially if it happens that these new riches are over and above those of the man of the house.(the husband). I now hope it is clearer.
From: pamela butalanyi <butalanyipk@yahoo.com>
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Sent: Wed, August 18, 2010 6:42:01 AM
Subject: Re: Successful kamba ladies maintaining marriages more thancounterparts in Luo & kikuyu ! | Hehehe.... I am laughing because the gentlemen have debated with passion as if to tell other ladies to follow suit....hehehe once again.... I have known of 4 Kamba ladies who quit their marriages: 1) Was married to an army officer – she quit when he later decided to marry a second wife from his own tribe 2) A teacher by profession from a different tribe but posted to Machakos, he met a Kamba lady, they married – when he retired and decided to go rural, they went together yes, but later she quit. 3) She quit because the husband was philandering 4) She never gave reasons for quitting but she could just say he was a terrible man. So the umbrella you give is baseless gentlemen!...and your research if any is very shallow....and I guess some of you, your mothers or grandmothers are still married to those well behaved relatives of yours, but they may not necessarily be Kamba. That aside, I have never come across a father, who praises the daughter who tolerates bad behaviour from his son-in-law. Why would you praise when other people's daughters are abused?... Generally, when the mother is unhappy, however she hides that fact, all that unhappiness reflects onto the children, so persevering evil behaviour yet it can reflect into the behaviour of children, is nonsensical to me or any other parent who cares about the children. That generalisation also undermines the self-worth of a Kamba lady my friends..so it will be kind to state, some Kamba ladies not wholly.....besides, what type of children will such a lady raise?..children who are confident and know their self-worth or children who only understands that being in an abusive environment is the norm? Also, there are very many different types of men as are many different types of women in every given tribe, Kind, abusive, liars, thieves etc etc all are out there in every tribe...so no one tribe has only a particular behaviour... ,,and Jagem, I don't think Edla's position suggests that she is in fear as you put it but just wondering such abuse to a woman, and that is when she is appreciated as a good person?. Suppose a lady here came with a similar story, how she did what she did and then label men from a particular tribe, that they are the ones who tolerate such nonsense and only that is when she calls them good – what would have been the response from the males on this forum?..will that mean that they are in fear, that those particular men are praised for tolerating nonsense?...I am sure if the ball was in the other court, even any women will not condone such and their response will be in defence of the abused man! ....and bad, oppressive traditions will always be discarded.... as people get more and more enlightened and understanding...that is why there was abolition of slavery, yet slavery was a valued tradition to some races!... ... ...story end...... Have a reflective day! Pam
--- On Tue, 8/17/10, Jagem K'Onyiego <jairuschurch@yahoo.com> wrote:
From: Jagem K'Onyiego <jairuschurch@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Successful kamba ladies maintaining marriages more thancounterparts in Luo & kikuyu !
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Date: Tuesday, August 17, 2010, 12:54 PM
I hope your sickness may not be construed to be emanating from fear, that some women and in particular, Kamba women, hawa ruki ruki na kupatia bwana unnecessary pressure. Once they love, they will love to death. Na hawatingisiki kwa mapenzi. I mean they are not the "pesa nane" type when it comes to holding marriage vows. Could it be that this is what is making you sick? Or is it that you have long discarded your traditions and aped other people's traditions. Where did the true African Values go? Sooner or later you will be telling us that it is alright to marry today and divorce after a week. Marry again and Divorce after two months, simply because you heard rumors that, your hubby was seen talking to another woman in the market place, or worse still because he was with the Boys at the watering joint and took one for the road and many for the Bar, where he ended up coming home at 11:00pm in a jolly mood. We must not forget our traditions and Values lest others take them. We will end up being enslaved into these other people's traditions. Just my two cents.
From: Millicent Odhiambo <modhiambos@yahoo.com>
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Sent: Tue, August 17, 2010 12:28:48 PM
Subject: Re: Successful kamba ladies maintaining marriages more thancounterparts in Luo & kikuyu !
Edla i agree with you on this my dear.
From: Kuria-Mwangi <kjmwangi@gmail.com>
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Sent: Mon, August 16, 2010 5:24:32 PM
Subject: Re: Successful kamba ladies maintaining marriages more thancounterparts in Luo & kikuyu !
No, he showing the level of tolerance by a person. The behavior should not be condoned. On Mon, Aug 16, 2010 at 7:39 AM, edla muga <lawyeredla@yahoo.com> wrote: Are you all saying that a woman should allow a man to do whatever he wants including engaging in risky behaviour, likehaving multiple sexual partners with no protection *hence the 7 children* and hang around living on water and ugali because of the expenses of the mans selfish need to have many women in his bed, and THEN and ONLY THEN can she be a good woman, then you go ahead and put a tribal cloak over her and pick the Kamba tribe..... If I was a kamba man or woman on this forum, I would be sick to my gut of this tribalistic labelling, and since I am a woman, I find the core of this thread offensive. I hope any young unmarried ladies out there have enough self confidence to know that you do not become a good wife by accepting alot of bad behaviour and doing nothing about it. I have a nagging feeling that the women who stayed behind, be she a kamba or not had no alternative, perhaps she was an orphan with no family or was unable to maintain herself financially.
Subject: Re: Successful kamba ladies maintaining marriages more thancounterparts in Luo & kikuyu !
Kuria, Crispine and Nyongesa, Waambiye "Wakuye ni wabalukie." 'Gentlemens' you could be having some point here. My cousin married some decades ago in Athi River. The Lady was from 'Masakusi'. The year was 1974. Since my cousin was born and brought up in a polygamous marriage he himself ended up being polygamous. He married three women, the first though, was this Kamba woman. Later the man ended up moving to Mombasa town, but subsequently had a two year stint when times were lean, when he could not hold a permanent job. During this period the other two wives took off leaving four children behind. These children were taken in by the Kamba woman and cared for as her own children. The man later on got his footing and became successful. The children, seven of them have all gone through school and are now working. At no time did I ever see this Kamba woman go away. She has turned to be one of the best role models of a 'Wife" in the Village. All the same, this could be a One off, situation, but Nyar Machakos has done a lot of Good in the Village.
From: "modhiambos@yahoo.com" <modhiambos@yahoo.com>
To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Cc: youngprofessionals.ke@gmail.com
Sent: Sun, August 15, 2010 12:43:00 AM
Subject: Re: Successful kamba ladies maintaining marriages more thancounterparts in Luo & kikuyu !
Nyongesa,
What do you mean wait for her husband to model her?
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Zain Kenya
-----Original Message-----
From: JOSEPH NYONGESA <josefnyongesa@gmail.com>
Sender: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Date: Sat, 14 Aug 2010 12:59:19
To: <mlalahoi@googlegroups.com>
Reply-To: mlalahoi@googlegroups.com
Cc: <youngprofessionals.ke@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: Successful kamba ladies maintaining marriages more than
counterparts in Luo & kikuyu !
True and keen observation on Rope(Kamba)ladies. Only you have to be
keen she might keep on exploiting her AREA OF AGRICULTURE; especially
if you work away from where she is. (NOT ALL). Then my friend told me
that if you marry a ladies from Central then you are inviting a method
known as 'DIVIDE BY TWO/TUGAWANYE MALI' in life. Then a Luo lady will
ever expect to remain the way you got her i.e. she will wait for husy
to model her in all manner.
On Fri, Aug 13, 2010 at 12:28 PM, Kuria-Mwangi <kjmwangi@gmail.com> wrote:
> Chrispine,
> Also check with Meru women too. I have dated across the communities but it
> was only the Kamba lady who indicated that she didnt mind if I got another
> woman in her life and thought that was strange. She was actually my second
> since she was concurrently married with Junior's mother and that didnt seem
> to worry. Only the distance which caused the havoc but she is one person i
> regret today for losing.
>
> Have not seen any women from any region who are desparate for marriage like
> Meru women. For that, they make it last and that is another reason why I go
> in Meruland any time for a bride. Taita also ranks high among places where
> you may be sure of death doing you apart.
>
> Now those living abroad is another thing and I am not sure the statistics
> are the same but I can report here today that most of Kikuyu and Luo male
> friends who were stupid to marry too early are either single or doing their
> second or third marriage. What I cant tell for sure is whether the problem
> is with men or women or both. It is here that I have seen folks who are over
> 50 and ought to be settled single..Too many of them and that is why I will
> repeat again that Kenyans living abroad probably have a higher divorce rate
> than Americans themselves.
>
> I agree with you except on the conclusion of who is to get blamed, the lion
> or lioness.
>
> On Fri, Aug 13, 2010 at 12:02 PM, onyango chrispine <odumac2000@yahoo.com>
> wrote:
>>
>> Guys,
>> show me one successful Kamba lady who has broken a marriage and i might
>> just show you 100 either Kikuyu or Luo of similar status.
>> This is a terrific observation that cannot go unnoticed . Kudos Kamba
>> ladies !
>> Chrispine .
>>
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