Signs you're at a bad hotel
1. The "complimentary" paper tells you that Nelson Mandela has been freed from prison.
2. The mint on the pillow starts moving when you come close to it.
3. The pictures are not placed for decoration but to cover up recent bullet holes.
4. You have to wait until the guy next door is done with the towel so you can use it.
5. There's a chalk outline in the bed when you pull back the covers.
6. The desk clerk has to move the body in order to get some ice for you.
7. The wake up call comes courtesy of police helicopter.
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